Mark C. Bourne                                      Playwright

A Better You

7 women + 1 man

A Better You tells the story of a group of 5 very different women who meet every week at the local community hall. They spend their time organizing jumble sales and fair days and inviting guest speakers to their weekly meetings.

On the evening that the play begins, unbeknownst to the group, Cathy-Anne has been booked to do a presentation to them regarding “A Better You”, the self-help program that she represents. Unfortunately for Cathy-Anne, the women are a rather mixed bunch, with their own concerns and very easily distracted. Things do not go according to plan!

Did Bella’s husband really leave her for a biker called Hammer? Is it the Girl Guides that keep stealing the toilet paper? Will Mildred ever master her Monterey Turn?

In the midst of trying to run her presentation, Cathy-Anne is constantly harassed via mobile by Barry, her partner, to discuss the lack of offspring in their increasingly rocky relationship. Cathy-Anne teeters dangerously on the edge of a total breakdown and in their misguided attempts to help, the women accidentally kill her with a combination of Valium and dog tranquilisers.

Now what on earth will they do with an unexpected body??

Just when they think that they have managed to safely stash poor Cathy-Anne in the Gents toilet, they find out that the hall has been double-booked...

Video Clips

Characters

Cathy-Anne: 30's, power-dressed in a trouser suit and big hair. The “A Better You” presenter. Patronising and irritable and clearly at the end of a very short fuse.

Bella: 40's, bold and upfront former biker chick. Rather “rough and ready”. Slightly bitter. Sarcastic and blunt sense of humour.

Josie: 20's-40's, mousey, baggy clothes and cardigan, lank hair and large glasses. Lives with her Mum. Has an inventive imagination, a breast fixation, and hidden murky depths.

Patricia: 20's-40's, schoolteacher, highly nervous and prone to hyper- ventilating. Has a fondness for hippie skirts and tie-dyed clothes. Clearly too fragile for teaching.

Constance: 40's-50's, Doctor’s wife. Perfectly presented with class and elegance. Natural leader and seen by the others as the rock of the group. Has absolutely no idea that her rather brutal frankness might offend.

Mildred: 70, eccentric, lots of hobbies. Wildly dressed in country and western outfit, cowboy boots and moped helmet. Also wears a tatty curly wig that has seen better days. Calls a spade a spade, but is essentially good natured and enthusiastic about life.

Maxine: 30's-50's, ballroom dancer. Full make-up and competition “attire”. Dominating and bossy and brimming with resentment and disappointment.

Clifford: 30's-50's, ballroom dancer. Fake tan, tight black pants and shirt, cummerbund etc. Uncomfortable with his dancing prowess and appears to be well under Maxine’s thumb. Transforms from meek and mild to dashing and virile on the dance floor!

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The author retains ALL copyright of the aforementioned work.

Mark C. Bourne 2006